This month I was planning on writing about the making of my brand new single "Bring Us Down." But I messed up. I rushed my song's release and barely planned for its promotion, which has stagnated streams and views. I thrust "Bring Us Down" out into the world on August 24th with one eye closed and started brainstorming my next big release right away.
I was on a walk this morning, trying not to check my Spotify stream count, when it hit me: I sabotaged the release of my own song.
Instead of wallowing, I've decided to try and get to the core of why I messed up the release. Because hopefully there's a valuable lesson in store for me and for other creatives who struggle with showing their art.
The Making
I wrote "Bring Us Down" in early 2023 about events that happened in 2022 (I won't get too into that now). I remember coming up with the chorus chord progression first on acoustic guitar. I started to hum and the lyrics "in and out of touch" slipped out of my mouth. From there, most of the lyrics just seemed write themselves into my songwriting book. Creating the song felt magical, like I was releasing an avalanche of stagnant emotions.
Then I brought the song to a jam session with my good friend and band colleague, Reese. He had been fiddling with a more bluesy chord progression; I thought meshing that chord structure with my more light and airy chorus progression could create a really interesting contrast. Both of us felt it right there. This was going to be a good song.
My friend Divya came to the following jam session and got an adorable recording of Reese and I performing a rough demo of "Bring Us Down." I will treasure these memories forever.
I left the song alone for a year as I got busy with band gigs, travel, and work. But one year later, "Bring Us Down" was still stuck in my head. So I decided to finally record and release the track.
I enlisted my friends Ethan and Garrett to compose and record drums and bass. Reese played that ripping guitar solo at the end of the track, along with some accent parts. I did the rest of the guitar, vocals, production elements, and mixing. I loved the process of putting the song together. I would run my mixes past my brother, who is an excellent self-taught producer with a great ear.
It can be hard to decide when a track is "done." I could tweak the mixes of my songs forever, but I remember hitting a point where nothing I was doing to the song was actually making it better. I was so happy with the result.
I had a random picture of my shoulder that I took in the backseat of a rental car in Colorado. For some reason, this picture felt like the right one to use for my song cover art. I packaged the image with my song file, submitted them to my music distributor, created a quick lyric video, and set my release date to August 24th.
What Went Wrong
I had a month in between finishing "Bring Us Down" and its official release. To my credit, that month was actually really busy. Work ramped up, I'd been playing more gigs than ever, my best friend came into town, and I spent the following weekend out of town.
But there were multiple moments in that month where I thought to myself "Hey, I should probably be posting about the song coming out." I'd then push the thought away.
I barely listened to "Bring Us Down" during that month. I think there is a healthy level of detachment you should have when you're releasing a song, but I wasn't just detached---I was avoidant. Any time I tried listening to the song, I'd scrutinize the mix, the vocals, the production. I'd make myself paranoid and anxious for no reason, so it was easier to just not think about the release at all.
I think I was subconsciously terrified of my song flopping. I'd poured so much time, energy, and love into creating it and wasn't sure if I could handle criticism. Releasing an art project can feel like shoving your newborn baby into a lion's den. I ultimately decided to leave my song right at the entrance and tiptoe away. After all, no one can hate your song if they don't know about it, right?
Surprise, surprise, my song barely made a ripple when I announced its release. I was disappointed. "Bring Us Down" was received well by my close friends and family who cared enough to listen, but I didn't create any marketing momentum before its release, so barely anyone else has listened to it.
I tried to avoid thinking about the streams and just pivot to brainstorming my next project. There are two other songs that I am excited about producing. But I'm making myself slow down and reflect on this release first, instead of deflecting. I made a mistake and I need to own up to it.
In trying to protect my art and my ego, I have actually let myself down. I am proud of my song and still really believe in it. I'm upset at myself for not treating "Bring Us Down" with the respect it deserves. I know that what the public thinks of my music is not really any of my business. It's not my job to mitigate how others respond to my art. But I do owe it to myself to follow through on my song releases the best I can.
Ideally, as artists, I think we should be taking our art both seriously and not seriously at all. The ideas we receive and our creative abilities are gifts. We should approach our crafts with diligence and sincerity. But also, once we're ready for release into the world, we need to be able to let go of the desire to control public perception. We just need to do our part to the best of our abilities. Nothing else matters.
The release of "Bring Us Down" has been a massive wakeup call for me. I'm still going to try and upload more promotional content to my socials, but I also want to do better by myself for future releases. Instead of caving to my fears, I will confront them head on.
To anyone reading, your art matters. Your voice matters. Please keep creating and sharing your work with the world.
By the way, if you are interested in streaming "Bring Us Down," it's available on Spotify, Apple Music, and most other platforms! Look at me, actually promoting my song right :)
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